Today’s limit

It was only a week out when I told Holly that Tom had asked me to join him on this challenge. She was shocked. I was too. I always share these things with her, normally way in advance. Innocently she asked me “why are you running long?” As I had been stringing together a few weeks of progressive distance. It’s quite hard to hide 2 and 3 hour runs from someone you spend everyday with. It was only a matter of time before she would ask I guess. I think part of me thought, and maybe even hoped, she would not ask and I know why that is. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to get out of this opportunity that Tom presented to me on in Dubai on July 30th, the height of the summer.

If you have read any of my challenge write-ups before you will have an idea of how the challenges themselves come around and my decision making progress to attempt them. It is a gut feeling, always a gut feeling and normally made in a very short space of time. This was not different. Tom said he wanted to take our InnerFight Endurance annual 50km ride, 50km run, 50km ride challenge that we first did together (with Rob) through the night in Al Qudra in 2018 and do it again in the day, in the heat of summer. We had done this 5 years ago, again in Al Qudra with the unreal support of Carlin. This time he wanted to do it in the city and in reflection that is probably what struck a chord with me. I immediately knew it would be harder for 2 key reasons. Number 1 the city would be hotter than the desert and number 2 we would have no support crew next to us for water. 

I toyed with various ways to support Tom as through one lens it was something he wanted to do and therefore my duty to support him rather than get in his way. I also knew in asking me he had provided the framework for me to have a special experience. I sat on it, even until a day or two before trying to figure out what I would do and I never came to any other option but attempting the challenge as Rob and I designed it in 2017. 50km bike, 50km run, 50km bike.

Endurance challenges are different even when they are the same or similar format, no one is the same as the previous and you may say that’s the addiction. I sat with this thought a few days out knowing I have done some very hard things, in 2018 I ran 30 back to back marathons, in 2015 I ran 250km across the Sahara desert, in 2016 I had crossed Wahiba Sands Oman. Recently in 2025 I had ridden 1,200km around Sri Lanka. Why were these things coming to my mind amongst all that I have done? Heat. They all involved heat. So did our city version of 50/50/50. I was excited, heat once again was going to be my teacher. 

With my excitement came relaxation. Relaxation is always the key. I have nothing to prove. It is an odd crossroads as in one moment it tempts complacency but for the most part it drives opportunity. I like it. As always it is a choice to do these things. A privilege. A chance to “test my shit”. A chance to learn more about my mind and my body. What else would I want to be doing at 4:14am on a Wednesday in July? Nothing!

4:08 we were ready to roll out a few minutes early and I noticed that my front tyre had gone flat from leaving home to getting to the start. A quick tube change and along with our good friend Phil Cronin we were on the way in pitch black, 36 degrees for our first 50km. I had been here before, a big day ahead but trying to stay present. A nice sense of peace and calm as we rolled through the city to the Meydan cycling track and back. Tom had not told Phil the full plan and it was not until later in the ride and when we reached back to our cars to change into our run kit that he realised what we were up to. 

When I started building up my runs to be ready to do this 50km my legs and more so my mind were in a funny place. I love running, I always have and I always will. It has deep roots in so many areas of my life. But during my first few runs I was not free, there was tension and if there is tension when you run then the run is not enjoyable at all. You fight, with your legs, your mind and anyone and anything else you can find. To run happy you to have be free. I thought about tension and let it be. The following week I ran longer and did not want to stop. It was unreal, I had changed nothing but everything was different. I was where I wanted to be again in my running shoes. 

Our plan for the run was to carry a 500ml hand flask, some basic nutrition and a phone. The phone primarily to be able to buy supplies along the way but also for safety. This approach in itself was very freeing but at the same time removed a level of comfort that we had always enjoyed by having a support crew on hand. We knew where a few water coolers and convenience stores were along the route but we did not know exactly and for sure there would be moments where we were out of water and or needed food and would not get it right away. Something else that excited me.

20km into the run we were gifted quite a spectacular service station. What do they say that you get everything you need at just the right time but not always what you want, or something along those lines anyway. Core temperature and being able to control it was clearly a key to our success today and although getting into the deep freeze in this service station would have been gold standard that was not an option in our now rather sweaty states. However what was an option was an ice lolly, very important difference here to ice cream which would not present itself on the daily menu. To my surprise I found a Callipo and loved every lick of it as well as the cooler temps. 

Time was not our concern. The equation was hectic but out of our control. We knew that going faster would mean we would spend less time in the heat but that is a dangerous formula to toy with. We relaxed when we were relaxing and ran when we were running. Sounds simple and applicable in a number of areas of life but is often overlooked.

In challenges like this there are always pivotal moments, the first today came just before the halfway stage of the run. Refer to my earlier comment about the heat of the city, add to it morning rush hour and some pretty major footpath road works and diversions and this was the first moment I thought to myself “it’s game on here, this challenge is starting.” A few senses aroused at once and your ability to focus on running and relaxing are challenged. I could feel my run form change slightly and as I looked over to Tom he was the same. I smiled, this is what we came for. 

The lens narrows, only now matters, and getting to the next shop / water cooler. After we finished at one Tom would ask me where the next one is so he could focus on it, on the few KM’s that we had to deal with. It is good, it tests your ability to stay present, a skill that if you do not train outside of sport you have no right to be able to exercise in moments like this. The legs felt good and when we were moving we were still moving at a steady pace. This somewhat surprised me in parts. I had identified that one of my challenges during this event could be my low weekly run miles over the last year, that fast became the least of my worries.

Bang, pivotal moment two. Double sensory explosion, the heat went up and as we faced the city and all its buildings all I could see was this haze almost suffocating them causing many of them to fade into each other. Or was that my wavering eyesight? More on that later. I smiled to myself, backed off my pace a little bit and smiled some more. It was true happiness, what was unfolding was an absolute gift. I had this weird sense of excitement inside of me as I looked down ay my watch to see we had just over 10km to go.

Up and over the bridge, “closer to the sun”, I laughed as we welcomed the downhill on the other side. It was not a fantasy, it was happening, with each step the ability to breathe and cool my body was disappearing. No stress, there is another water cooler just 500m away. One foot after the other. The legs are still good. The water coolers are a lottery, some work, some do not, some are ice cold, some are like lava, you do not get to choose and in the steps just before you hit the tap you have this amazing hope, sometimes it is rewarded with coolness, other times not and there is nothing you can do about it but smile, if you choose to. We had the one up here though as if this first one was warm (which it was) I knew there was one 10 meters away which ended up being cool. 

With a cool hat and water-soaked socks and shoes we entered what is normally regarded the final stretch on our regular runs along the beach track. The view of the heat covered city and the midday rise in temperate sat in the back of my mind but pounded the front, what a contrast, what a moment. We jogged, then I couldn’t. “The body whispers before it screams” was all I could think of as my vision started to become shorter and my lips started to tingle. Were these the first signs? I thought. Had I felt this before? I knew deep down the answers to both as Tom said “you can see the orange of Feels just up there.” I could see it from memory but in that moment I could see nothing, I agreed in the form of a grunt. My party had more than just started, I was already on the dance floor. In a sick way this is really why I was here, to figure this shit out. What’s my next move?

We reached “Feels” an outdoor restaurant. There was no way out, no escape. I headed for a bench which was under a tree in slight shade. A bench that I immediately laid flat on in the hope that the sensation in my head and my lips would subside, a bench that 2 minutes later Tom would declare ‘the hottest bench on the planet.’ I did not notice its temperature but in some strange way felt comforted by it. As I laid there I had many thoughts, and then in the next moment very few if any at all. Tom got us a cold brew coffee and a glass of ice, I would like to think they helped. I visualised what was ahead through a broader lens this time. Sometimes you zoom in, sometimes you zoom out, I guess knowing when to deploy which is the kicker. Right now looking down at my watch with 8km to go and thinking how I was going to get there seemed to serve me well. I needed a big picture plan. I did not want to let Tom down, to spoil his challenge. I told him to go on without me, I would be fine, he declined. With all of my ultra athletes I stress the importance of and we always train the ability to power walk, it was time for me to exercise this skill. I quickly calculated that I could move at 10 mins per KM power walking even in these conditions so in 80 minutes we would be on the bike. 

I set to work with my lip and eye symptoms bettering and worsening in waves for no apparent reason. We talked. More now than we had all day. It was enjoyable, it always is. Life, things, minds, we have always talked about everything, challenged things, been open and honest. Tom as a new father is at an amazing stage of his life and being married to Carmen who has been with us for 10 years brings a number of strong emotional connections. The time and KM’s passed, slowly but they passed. We found more water coolers, stopped for our fourth ice lolly and continued to laugh (mainly at ourselves for the mess we were in) and joke as we clocked up our 50km. 

When I did my visualisation at that low point with 8km to go I absolutely knew two things. One was that if I followed my vision I would make it to the end of the run and secondly if I made it to the end of the run then the ride was a matter of process. A done deal you could say. That thought was not on my mind as I changed back into my cycling gear at the back of my car. The temperature was 49 degrees and I was taking one sock off, resting, then doing the other. I have no clue how long it took to get changed but what I do know is that I went through 3 litres of water in the time. I was cooking on all fronts but in the moment did not realise it. Never mind, let’s start riding, so we did.

During the run I joked about pushing 100 watts on the bike and life would be good, as we set out to even reach triple figures was what felt like a monumental effort. I resigned to the fact that double figures would do and would get us there. The sun had moved and beat down on our backs as a tail wind pushed us down the beach track. There were no words spoken, it was not the time for that, we both sat behind our sun glasses hunched over on the bike trying to turn the pedals. I am not sure if it felt fast or slow but we were soon passing Feels and my hot bench, I tried not to look, looking had once again become a challenge. I looked around and could not see Tom. For some reason I was not alarmed. I just thought I could not see. I thought I called his name but in reflection I do not think I did, the thought of it takes me back and I don’t feel like I had the energy to yell out to him. 

“Next water cooler” I think as I intermittently turn back to see where he is but see nothing. I stop and put my head under the cold water in attempt to ease the pain. I need to sit down. Still no Tom. I stare into space. Rational thinking seems to have left me. I drink some water and pour the rest on my head as I remove my helmet. Tom finally pulls up and moments after he arrives says “this is over.” I am silent. I need time to think. I see him but he is a bit fuzzy, are my eyes melting? Ha ha. I need to change my sitting position but Tom needs my help. I connect a hose to the water cooler, he sits in front of it and I dowse him with cold water through his helmet and all down his back. I can feel his relief. I can just about see his face. It does not paint a good picture. I keep going until I feel unstable and apologetically stop before I go and lay on the footpath using the curb as my pillow. My lips vibrate, I can not open my eyes, I do not want to. The body has stopped whispering, it is starting to scream, as Tom would later say “it was starting to shut down.” I do not want to believe it but I know it is the truth. I lay there, I try and bring my breathing under control. It takes time.

We laugh at our planned stop halfway into this second bike leg and the fact that we are almost 20km from it. How arrogant of us to think we would get there. We are at peace with our joint decision that we have found today’s limit and the safe thing to do is to turn around and roll the 6km back to our cars. 

Did I want to keep going? Of course. But at what cost? There were two prices we would have paid. One is know, which was time. We would have had to keep stopping very frequently to try and cool the body. We had been doing this during the run. Time was not a concern. The second price was our health, our bodies, our safety. We had all the warning signs and in all honesty I had been bargaining with them since my ability to run left me 8km from the end. I had taken what I thought were calculated risks to end the run. Now the risks seemed to have increased, we were both suffering, neither of us had clear vision, our bodies were doing what they do best and preserving our life. Continuing to ignore the warning signs is stupid and selfish. We have families to go home to and people to serve in this life. 

The line is fine which is what makes these challenges and the sport of endurance so amazing, addictive and truly beautiful. Today we got an opportunity, a chance, a privilege to sense things that maybe we have sensed before but also some new things. Failing to complete what we set out to do always hurts but that’s mainly ego which is bullshit anyway. Today was harder than many things I have done which I have had recognition for. This was never about recognition, it never will be, maybe because I age, but recognition does not drive me anymore. Growth and experiences drive me, the conversations we had, the time on the floor in the gas station having an ice lolly, the numbness in my lips, the water cooler stops. These are the things that teach, that allow me to learn and in that learning I hold hope that we continue to get better at life.

Thanks Tom.

No Weakness
Marcus