The Special One

The way Jose Mourinho told the media that he was “The Special One” during his glory years at Chelsea always used to make me smile. I liked his confidence. I liked his accent. I also liked the fact that his work with Chelsea was backing up what he was saying. They were a dominant force.

At the same time I thought a lot about what he really believed about his statement. Did he really think he was special? Was he really different to other managers? What was different? Was he just playing the media? Was it just arrogance? I had a lot of questions. I often do.

“Are you special?” Perhaps a question that is hard for many of us to answer. A question that maybe makes us feel a little uncomfortable. Not because we cannot answer it, but because we are unsure what the correct answer should be. If you say yes, it can sound arrogant. If you say no, it can sound dishonest. Yet the question itself is an important one because it touches identity, motivation and the quiet psychological drivers behind many successful people.

Last week I was having a catch up with my buddy Jani, (who since he first invited me to watch him on the Champs -Élysées and I said no as I thought he was stalking me, has become a great friend and my cycling mentor.) and he paused, looked into the video call and said “Do you see yourself as special”?

I was halted, stuck, speechless, my eyes rolling everywhere but back at him through my camera. I knew I was doing it and I immediately tried to bring things under control and fashion an answer. 

For people operating at the top of business, sport or leadership, the question sits right at the centre of how they view themselves. Many people live with a strange internal tension. From the outside, their lives look exceptional. They have built businesses, created wealth, achieved physical challenges or led organisations. Yet internally they often feel like they are simply doing what is required. They rarely walk around thinking of themselves as special. They just see themselves as committed to the process.

This is actually where the question becomes even more interesting. For the most part people introduce themselves through what they do. At a dinner table or a networking event, the conversation quickly moves toward titles, roles and achievements. “I run a company”. “I invest”. “I coach executives”. “I lead a team”. “I race bikes”. For the high achievers of the world the list can be long, businesses built, exits achieved, teams led, races finished, numbers hit. It is well rehearsed through opportunity and unless we are careful can be the reason we exist. 

But those things only describe what someone does. They do not explain who someone is. When identity becomes tightly connected to performance or output, life can become surprisingly fragile. Markets change. Roles evolve. Bodies age. Businesses grow or contract. If a person’s sense of self is built entirely on performance, every change in performance begins to feel like a threat.

I see this a lot in clients and athletes. Someone can have built an impressive life, financially successful, physically capable, professionally respected, yet still feel unsettled internally. Somehow I have a set of glasses that I can also see it externally. That’s something for another time and the trained eye maybe. The bottom line is the same, the foundation of identity is sitting on performance rather than character.

The deeper question is not what you do. The deeper question is how you show up while doing it. Are you disciplined? Curious? Consistent? Calm under pressure? Generous with your knowledge? Able to step back and recover when necessary? These qualities remain long after titles change or businesses evolve. These qualities and behaviours are at our core. They are who we are.

During the conversation with Jani I reflected on this. He gave me the space. He sat, looked, listened, prompted, he is very good like that. 

“I have done things that many people might call uncommon. I ran thirty marathons in thirty consecutive days. I have spent days riding my bike across vast distances, sometimes riding for twelve hours through storms, wildlife and empty roads where there is no signal and no support. I have also built a business that allows me to work with people around the world while living a life that has been designed intentionally rather than by accident. From the outside, some people might describe those things as special. But internally they never felt that way. They felt like the natural outcome of curiosity, discipline and consistency.”

I paused, he smiled. We continued……”When you are in the middle of a challenge, whether that is day seventeen of thirty marathons or hour ten of a long ride, you are not thinking about being special. That’s not a driver, not even close to thought. You are present, focussed on the moment and maybe the next step. Sometimes it’s as granular as the next 5 steps or pedal strokes.”

The world may look at outcomes and see something extraordinary, but the person doing the work usually experiences it as process. Another challenge with the word special is that it almost always involves comparison. Special compared to whom? Compared to the average person? Perhaps. Compared to the best in the world? Maybe not. Comparison is a moving target, and it rarely resolves the question.

For athletes, business people and high achievers alike, the endless loop looms. There is always another benchmark. Another founder who exited bigger. Another investor with a stronger portfolio. Another athlete with higher numbers. Someone who you simply view as being more special than you so you compare and start the chase. If your sense of identity depends on being exceptional relative to others, the game never ends. The finish line simply moves further away.

Jani then took us back to 2010 when he won the Critérium du Dauphiné. A race where he actually allowed himself proper rest before competition. After years of constantly pushing, he spent several days doing almost nothing before the race began. The result surprised him. He arrived at the race feeling stronger than ever. 

A stark reminder that performance is not always built by doing more. Sometimes performance is built by allowing space for recovery. The same idea applies far beyond sport. Many high achievers carry a quiet internal belief that drives them forward: ‘If I achieve enough, then I will finally feel worthy.’ That belief can fuel extraordinary discipline. It can also create relentless pressure.

You train harder. Work longer. Push further. But underneath the productivity there can be a quiet negotiation with self-worth. If I stop, what does that say about me? This is why many struggle with rest or to do less. Not because they lack discipline, but because movement has become connected to identity.

The truth is that people operating at a high level possess qualities that are genuinely uncommon. Work ethic, resilience, the ability to tolerate discomfort and long-term thinking are not evenly distributed across the population. These qualities matter. But rarity does not mean superiority. It means responsibility.

If you have certain capacities, intellectual, physical, financial or emotional, the real question becomes how you use them. Do they help you lead better? Do they help you create opportunities for others? Do they help you stay calm in difficult environments? Or do they become tools to prove that you are exceptional? That distinction matters.

So perhaps the real question is not “Am I special?” Perhaps the better questions are: What qualities do I consistently bring into the world? How do people experience me when they work with me? Who am I when performance drops? Would I still do the work if nobody saw it? These questions move identity away from comparison and toward character. And character is far more stable than achievement.

So do I think I am special?

I think I have done things that are uncommon. (Or at least at the time of doing them they were uncommon, ha ha, the bar is constantly moving as we have discussed right?) Running thirty marathons back to back is uncommon. Riding huge distances across empty landscapes is uncommon. Building a business that allows meaningful work while living with freedom is uncommon.

But those things do not make me more important than anyone else. They are simply expressions of qualities that exist inside me and a willingness to explore limits.

The more I think about it the more I feel the real goal is not to be special. The real goal is to know yourself well enough that you no longer need to ask the question. Because when identity is built on character rather than comparison, something interesting happens.

No Weakness,
Marcus